All the other guys are doing it, so Southwest Airlines is excited to announce our new Bag Fee Bandwagon Bonanza! Beginning right this red-hot second, Southwest Airlines is implementing a simple and easy-to-understand bag fee policy. You instantly qualify for our new flying colors fee of $401.15 on weekdays* if your bag is:
*except Wednesdays, when the fee doubles for teenagers and Passengers over 6'
Fees will not apply to bags with wheels or power steering. Bags with two wheels must be approved one year and six days prior to your travel day. These may cause:
Loss of appetite
Clinical sad face syndrome
Isn't it time you got rid of tiresome, excess cash and joined the bag fee bandwagon?
The other guys think so.
But at Southwest, we think bag fees are a joke--perfect for April Fools. Foolish fees don't fly with us!