Skip to main content

Southwest Airlines Community

Jill Jokes

jhallen
Adventurer C
Alrighty then. I feel like when you're on a first date and you don't know what else to say and there is this awkward silence. Ever since I can remember I have used, what I'd like to think of as humor, to break things up. Seems to work in a lot of situations. You know, sensitive meetings, elevators, times when I'm feeling crabby, or funerals. My favorite are what most people call "dumb jokes". Around my office they have become known as "Jill Jokes". (I haven't been able to figure out why though). Ok, so it doesn't contain fowl language, but these are far from dumb. For example let's look at a chemistry joke: One sodium atom says "Oh no! I think I lost an electron", another atom asks "Are you sure?" "Yeah!" the other atom says. "I'm positive." Or my favorite, bar jokes: A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender looks at him and says "Hey I have a drink named after you!" and the grasshopper replies "You have a drink named Steve?!!" There. Aren't you feeling better already? Way more fun to laugh than be crabby, right?
18 Comments
Peter_Kim
Explorer C
I've got a terrible one for you: What's brown and sticky? Well, I'll tell you. A stick.
blusk
Aviator C
Unfortunately, the blog can't relay Jill's delight in making her Coworkers groan--her eyes twinkle when she is telling her jokes. Jill's jokes remind me of the one-liners that the late Henny Youngman used to throw out, although Jill is a lot more attractive. Here are a few of Henny's jokes: Waiter! Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? The backstroke. Take my wife, please! How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice. I just flew in from the coast and boy are my arms tired! Okay Jill, I suppose you have all new material for the ten o'clock show. Brian
Vincent2
Explorer C
Jill, you MUST have been at the wine tasting with Richard when you wrote this. To your credit, you did warn us by saying these are Bar jokes 🙂
BWI_9PV_Admin_
Explorer C
*Fowl* language? A little poultry humor? LOL. Sorry, just the Journalism major in me, begging to get back out.
Charles_Zug
Explorer C
Think I heard both of those cornball Jill jokes about ten years ago -- er, was it really fifteen? Thanks for the memories... ;) CZ
StakesAlive325
Explorer C
Jill, Hehehe .... Two fishermen were fishing a river from the bank. Wanting to cross to fish the other bank, they looked up and saw a Blonde on the far side of the river. One man hollered across, "How do we get to the other side?" To which she replied, "You're on the other side!" StakesAlive325
StakesAlive325
Explorer C
... And one of my favorite Henny Youngman "liners" .... My wife thought we should get a dog for the kids. I thought it was a good trade. StakesAlive525
roc
Explorer C
Here's 1 or 2 4 u: How do u catch a unique rabbit? U neak up on him How do u catch a tame rabbit? Tame way, u neak up on him I get people rolling their eyes on those--but deep inside I know they r laughing-- they walk away saying 'neak up on him- how corny''
Shawn3
Explorer C
I always enjoy, and usally invoke, the use of humor in most situations! I hope that Southwest never loses it's great corporte sense of humor. Here are a few more for your repetoire: What do you call a cow with no legs? ... Ground Beef What do you call a cow with only 2 legs? ... Lean Beef. What do you call a cow that has just given birth? ... de-calf-inated You may now grin and groan 😉
Christina11
Explorer C
JILL, OK "A SKELETON WALKS INTO A BAR AND ORDERS A BEER AND A MOP."
hcarboy
Explorer B
A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake? "Not my fault!" Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was intense! Get it! My nephew shared these jokes with me. I've been known to tell a few on the airplane. It was great to read all the previous posts. I now have some new ones to use on the plane!! I've been flyin' for 22 years, so my jokes are getting a little old. Thanks for the new schtick!!
Scott_Showalter
Explorer C
Did you hear about the fight at the candy store? ...The sucker got licked
Ray_Uribe
Explorer C
What I learned after moving to the Lone Star state ...... Why did the Texas chicken cross the road? To prove to the armadillo that it really CAN be done! I haven't learned much after that however....
Ken_Smith1
Explorer C
Jill, here's another Chemistry joke: A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender sets the beer down and says, "For you, no charge!"
bill_and_phill
Explorer C
knock knock whos there bill bill who phil
Anonymous4406
Explorer C
What did one stawberry say to the other stawberry?? *if you weren't SO FRESH last night....then we wouldn't be in this JAM!!!
Anonymous4406
Explorer C
Did you hear about the 2 antennas that got married??! ** The wedding was OK.....but the receptions was GRRREAT!!
ChristinaNina
Explorer C
Thanks for making me chuckle today everyone. Circus fire... gotta be my fav. Here is another fav stand-by: Why don't seagulls live by the bay? 'Cause then they'd be bagels!!! Yuc, yuc, yuc.