In honor of Belly Laugh Day, I submit the following:
Two guys walk into a bar. You would have thought the second guy would have seen the bar. (One of my favs)
This string walks into an ice cream shop and the clerk looks at him suspiciously. He says "Sorry, kid, we don't serve your kind here." So the string walks out. He's walking down the street feeling really sad because it's a hot day and he was looking forward to his ice cream when the string sees a really large man coming down the road. He asks the man, 'Would you tie me into a knot?' The man looks at him and says 'Sure'. So he twists and turns the string into a big dusty, sweaty knot. Then the string walks back into the ice cream shop. The clerk looks at him a little suspiciously again and says, "Hey, you're not that string that was just in here, are you?" The string replies "No, I'm a frayed knot."
Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter to marry Tom Brokaw? Because he was a commontater.