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Packaged by Your Friends at Fort Knox

mhennes
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Ok - it's not nice to laugh at someone at their expense. Really. It IS human nature to do so, though, and sometimes it seems like it can't be helped. But since all of us have been given more or less some sense of self control, I suggest you exercise it as often as you can - especially on an airplane, especially in the presence of those people for whom it's a mighty struggle to get the peanut package open. There are seventeen peanuts artistically splayed out in and in front of the open peanut package here on the homepage of the Southwest blog. You can bet that great lengths were taken to place those peanuts just so for the photo shoot - the spacing is precise, there's a good mixture of whole and half nuts, and shadows from the perfect lighting fall gently around them. But wouldn't you have liked to have been in the studio when that package was opened? Does it look like they got it on the first try? I've seen some amazing contortions in airplane seats after the Flight Attendants make their way through the cabin with snacks. Elbows extended, backs twisting, lips curving into a grimace; teeth, fingernails, paperclips, the ends of pens - all have been employed to try to get into what sometimes seems like and indestructible little bag. It can seriously crack the demeanor of the coolest, best dressed, most perfectly coifed flyer. Maybe you've been there yourself. If not, and this is happening with your seatmate, or the person across the aisle, the temptation to point and laugh may feel overwhelming. But, remember your self control...and as gently as you're able to, point out the tiny little tear on the right side of the package that's there to serve as a starting point for peanut access. (Same goes for the pretzels.) You'll feel good about "being there" for your fellow traveler, they'll be saved some embarrassment, and it might even lead to a spirited conversation about the merits of honey- vs. dry-roasted.
51 Comments
Alfred_Thompson
New Arrival
As someone with a peanut allergy I am glad the bags can be hard to open. On planes where peanuts are given out could be have a no peanut section one day?
FriendofBlogBoy
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Mary, What a great blog piece! Yes, you are quite correct -- it CAN be, ummm, entertaining to watch folks try to get into those wonderful little bags of nourishment. I love your sense of humor at describing the activity surrounding "snack time" onboard, because at one time or another, I've seen all of the things you've described. Personally, I employ the "Popeye" approach made famous on hundreds of cartoons by the spinach-eating sailor. I grab the bag with my right hand, and using my massive forearm muscles that resemble those of our favorite naval person (after USS Blog Boy, of course), I squeeze the bag and all of the peanuts fly up in a perfect arc through the air and into my waiting mouth. It does require a fair amount of scientific calculation, though, to take into account the acceleration of the peanuts relative to the blowing air from the three overhead vents above each seat in the cabin and the forward velocity of the plane measured in adjusted ground speed. Happy munching, Kim :) P. S. In the display of peanuts that you've noted above, I am one of the HALF nuts; Brian, however, is a complete nut.
Francisco_Delga1
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to do this day i cannot open my bag of peanuts. the flight attendants should say "to properly open your bag of peanuts..." that would be funny. I CANNOT STAND DRY ROASTED PEANUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SET HONEY ROASTED PEANUTS FREE..:) USS BLOG BOY
Jim13
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Disagree with Kim's postscript - Kim is an absolute and total nut. One of many qualities I admire in him. But I digress and need to respectfully disagree with Mary too. Yes, there is supposed to be a "tiny little tear on the right side of the package thatÃ
Phil_Willman
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LOL Kim! You're the best! Though I have to say, I think I saw your technique once, and it appeared that your calculations were just a weeeee bit off...... 🙂
joe-mdw-plane-d
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When I was younger, I had this same issue with a bag of peanuts on ML airlines (guess who that is. No cheating googlers!) I used brutal arm strength to tear into the bag. Unlike Kim, none of them went into my mouth. Instaed they went in the seat behind me ,sorry sis, and in those areas of abyss that only Brian knows where. I was 13 or so. Jim, How about plane cracker blog boy? 1483 MDW-DTW 401 DTW-MDW 2281 BNA-DTW 986 DTW-BNA All cancelled today. 401 changed from a 300 to a 700 and went to SAN It diverted from DTW- MDW and is a result unknown Anyone know why? Brian? Bueller? Ding! boy ;-)
Cindy9
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Ok....I admit it, I was also one of those nuts trying to open those mean little packages that torment us on every flight!! As I said above I "was" because I found a very creative way to figure out the proper way to open those things without totally embarassing myself or the people traveling with me... The first step is to have a child, this child has to be very smart , that way they can apply and be hired into a management position at an airfreight company... This airfreight company must use SWA to ship.. Those SWA reps that go to the airfreight companies are VERY generous (not surprising) and are always giving my daughter gifts.. Yes, they gave her an entire box of those nuts and in turn I received a full unopened bag, not sure but there must have been 50 of those little bags in the bigger bag.. I practiced opening those little monsters in the privacy of my kitchen, where no one could see how silly I looked until I finally got the hang of it... Now I can board those SW flights and actually look like a pro with my nuts!! lol I know, I know.....Thats cheating, but hey you'd do it too!!
Laura7
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I agree with blog boy, set the honey roasted nuts free and ship those dry roasted nuts back. Great blog Mary, you have a wonderful way with words.
Eric15
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I'll take Dry Raosted Over Honey Roasted anytime. To solve the problem of Challenging Bags just eat the bag as well. hmmm Edible peanut bags perhaps candy corn flavored. Hey Jim how about Big Sky Blog Boy?
Francisco_Delga1
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Maybe because of the weather.. uss blog boy
Denise_Lorenz
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I'm Mary's sister in Minneapolis, and we are thrilled with the opportunity to read her stories! It's no secret to her that ON OCCASION she's been known to make a long story even longer, but her attention to detail is unmatched. The hard part of reading the story instead of hearing her relay it is that we miss out on impersonations, sound effects, and "visuals" that all contribute to her reputation as a great story teller. Way to go, Mary!
blusk
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Mary, great post! Kim,if I were a nut, I'd be a Macadamia--exotic, expensive, and in Hawaii! Jim, I like Bordertown Blog Boy--it makes you sound dangerous. By the way, candy corn bags don't have the "hard-to-open" problem. When I was taking the bag out of my backpack to hand it to USS Blog Boy, it opened itself. Blog Boy
mhennes
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Alfred - please, please, next time you fly on Southwest, please talk to the Agent at the gate prior to boarding and inform them of your allergy. There's actually a form we have, specific to peanut allergies, that's used to inform the crews that peanuts should not be served inflight, and to serve an alternative snack (the pretzels). As some allergies are more severe than others, please also remember that if you're flying later in the day, peanuts will have been served prior to your flight, and we can't guarantee that there won't be residual peanuts and peanut dust on the plane. As for a specific seating section, I'm not sure what to tell you about that, but I'm usually in 18F - and if you're by me, I'll try to be the only Nut in sight.
FriendofBlogBoy
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Jim, Have you considered ELP Blog Boy? Of course, that might sound like you were choking... Or, Blog Boy de Paso del Norte? For all you folks who love/hate dry roasted or love/hate honey roasted, I'll gladly swap any Plane Crackers for your unwanted peanuts. Those plane crackers just don't fly with me. The first time I got a bag of them, I looked at the drawing and got all excited, because I thought they were going to be the SWA equivalent of Animal Crackers, which I DO love. (I'm referring to the snack, although the movie wasn't bad, either) However, as far as I'm concerned, there is a word misspelled in the title. They should be called "plain" crackers. BLAH. Joe, At least you should have considered yourself lucky. At age 13, think how embarrassing it would have been for a female flight attendant to find you crawling on the floor under the seats and to have asked you what you were looking for. Kim 🙂 🙂
Deb_Lynch
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I'm Mary's step-sister in Rocheport Missouri. I have to agree with Denise, Mary is one of the all time best story tellers!!!!!! But it would be even better with a video!
Francisco_Delga1
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Mary great story..... you seem to have a real nice family.. USS BLOG BOY
joe-mdw-plane-d
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Kim, no need to worry about me crawling under anything as mom and dad would not have been happy. No postage necessary if mailed in the united states Ding! boy Joe PS Phil, it is 64 and sunny. Spring is here!
jmalone
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I've had the opportunity to see Mary sing, tell a story, etc...at our Culture Committee meetings in Dallas. I can assure you all, that a video would be GREAT. Come on, Mary!! How about putting something together and throwing it up on You Tube?? I hope you all have a GREAT weekend! James Malone MDW FA
Erin7
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The perfect mix of our peanuts is...a handful of peanuts followed by a handful of candycorn...but if you mix them together they taste like a PayDay candy bar...very yummy
pcerda
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Heck, I just use my teeth. Jedi Blog Master
Francisco_Delga1
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I WANT TO SEE MARY SING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL PAY... USS BLOG BOY
FriendofBlogBoy
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Well, this is only marginally off-track from the original point of this blog piece, but am I the only one here old enough to remember the days of opening a package of peanuts and pouring them into one of those 6.5 oz green glass bottles of Coke and consuming them together? What a great memory THAT is! External Blog Boy and admitted Coke-aholic Kim 🙂
angela
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Kim - that sounds dangerous and somewhat of a choking hazard.
Francisco_Delga1
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KIM KIM KIM, I CAN'T RECALL THAT PERHAPS BECAUSE I WAS TOO YOUNG TO REMEMBER... I AM SURE U STILL REMEMBER THE HOT PANTS AND DISCO BALLS :) USS BLOG BOY
angela_hustedko
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Mary...you continue to crack me up.....Your wit and humor outshine any Bill Cosby or Ellen DeGeneres....perhaps when you retire from SWA...your retiree life would include Standup comedy...I know I would attend!!! I miss the Culture Committee events..hopefully you will headline in OKC soon!!! Angela Kotcher (formerly Husted) who is NOW retired and living in Oklahoma
Phil_Willman
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Hooray for DING! Boy and DTW!! But hey, can ya send some sun our way? We've had nothing but clouds all week, and hardly a drop of rain from them. Arrgggh!
blusk
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Jedi Blog Master If the force truly was with you, then you ccould make the packages open on your own. Blog Boy
FriendofBlogBoy
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Angela, Did you formerly work for OSHA? Don't be a party-pooper! Live a little! Take some risks! If you don't believe me, just Google "peanuts in Coke" and see how many references there are to it! Just for the record, I never choked once on it! LOL Kim 🙂
Martin_Kanan
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Hi everyone. I am the CEO of King Nut Companies-- we make Southwest's peanuts! Thanks for all the fun comments.
blusk
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Mr. Kanan, Welcome to Nuts About Southwest. Your product was the inspiration for our blog, and we LUV your product! Brian aka Blog Boy
Jim13
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Hi Martin! Welcome to this wild nutty blog. As you can see, opening a package of King Nuts can sometimes be a challenge. I remember when The Azar Nut Company packaged the peanuts for SWA. Edward Azar is a distant cousin of mine and I see his wife fairly often. Just for your information, their nuts had just as many challenges in the ripping-em opening department. Oh - don't listen to anybody above who says dry roasted peanuts are better than honey roasted peanuts. Now - according to http://www.southwest.com/about_swa/press/factsheet.html#Fun%20Facts , SWA served 93.8 million bags of peanuts last year. Then http://www.southwest.com/about_swa/press/factsheet.html#1999%20Financial%20Statistics states that SWA had 96.3 million passengers. That means 2.5 million people didn't get peanuts. I'll bet they wanted honey roasted and all that was available was dry roasted. West Texas Blog Boy
FriendofBlogBoy
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Mr. Kanan, Howdy and welcome to the blog. My only comment about your nuts is that they are VERY expensive. Not too long ago, I paid over $180 to get four bags of 'em. But, it is nice of you to throw in a free ride on a Southwest plane with each bag! Kim External Blog Boy and Consumer of King Nuts 🙂
joe-mdw-plane-d
Not applicable
$3.49 for 25 bags. I wonder if they say Southwest on them? I can't zoom in to see. Maybe I could send Brian some candy corn and he'll send me some peanuts? Imagine the possibilities. Ding! boy
mhennes
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Martin - welcome to the blog, and while I'm not coming down on the side of dry- or honey-roasted, I will say that either are complimented nicely by an adult beverage. One of my greatest challenges was writing a poem about the history of Southwest - from the perspective of the peanut. I hope I was able to correctly "channel" their thoughts . James - glad you're back! But hey - my singing and "throwing it up on You Tube" together in a sentence? What are you really saying, James ;) Francisco (USS Blog Boy) - let's Karaoke together!! No charge!!
pcerda
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Brian, These are not the peanuts you are looking for. Jedi Blog Master
Francisco_Delga1
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WELCOME TO THE BLOG... I CRAVE HONEY ROASTED PEANUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! USS BLOG BOY
Jeramy_Brian1
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I prefer to open the bag of peanuts with my light sabre. -Darth Blogger 😎
FriendofBlogBoy
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Jeramy, You must use your Jedi mind tricks on the TSA guys to let you get through security with that light saber! And I doubt that it was a Freudian slip, but I think you misspelled "saber". I caan only think of one compaany thaat spells it the waay you did, but I wouldn't waant to naame naames. Kim 🙂
kelli-bartlett-
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My Favorite Peanut Moment: The peanut packing machine must have slipped one day. While walking through the cabin on a flight with my basket of peanuts, I ran across an individual package of peanuts filled only of air! I thought, how funny... since it looked like it was about to pop! I decided this could be fun. I picked the passenger that might have a good sense of humor. As I went through the cabin handing out the peanuts with my drinks... I handed this unsuspecting passenger this bag full of air. He graciously said thank you. (snicker... snicker) I stood back and watched. This kind man said nothing... and only laughed when I brought him a goody bag full of treats... and I had to apologize! ; ) Gotta LUV our passengers!
Jeramy_Brian1
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Kim, You are right. I do use my sith mind tricks to get my light SABER on board. I also have a light saber that looks just like a water bottle. It fools them every time. Sorry I mis-spelled a word. The evil Jedi have sabotaged my spell check once again... 😎
joe-mdw-plane-d
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WhAAt AAirline could you be tAAlking AAbout Kim SeAAle? A late payment fee of $10 will be applied if not paid within 21 days. Ding! boy Joe FriedmAAnn
blusk
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Dear SWA DAL, I hope you're not turning to the dark side. Blog Boy
Phil_Willman
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Blog Boy, she just might be, with Darth Blogger on the loose.... "If you only knew the *power* of the dark side."
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[...] I read this funny little post on Southwest Airlines Blog. Explore posts in the same categories: Social [...]
DAL_to_OMA___
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I always tell people you have to be smarter than whatever it is you are working with - but sometimes even the simplest things outwit the best of us - such as those bags of peanuts!
Jenny3
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Oh goodness - I've enjoyed this post...jedi's, popeye, peanut channel(ers) is that a word??? I have to admit - the peanuts always stay in the package, as I tend to BMOS - featuring any of the "toes" - oreos, fritos, doritos.... Then, when we are in the car and the kids are begging for something special...they get the package of peanuts. Something magical about those packages....and go figure - they can open 'em, even with greasy hands... Baseball home opener on April 9th....I'll be able to get my peanuts in the shell....gotta love that....
joe-mdw-plane-d
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Home opener today for the Tigers. They lost :-( Oh well, the weather was awesome. We deliver for you! Ding! boy Joe
FriendofBlogBoy
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Hey fellow nut-heads, It seems that our Mr. Kanan was holding out on us! He didn't mention that he was in top secret, high-level and crucial negotiations with our favorite airline. But, the nut is out of the shell now, as revealed in the newspaper: http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/bus/industries/airlines/stories/041007dnbussouthwest.1dc3acf.html Feast your eyes and tummies on THAT news, and be prepared to rip open those packages every OTHER year, depending on your preferences! The Nutty Blogger 🙂
Alan_Daters1
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Tough peanut bags? (And they ARE tough!) No problem for my trusty pocketknife. Now if I could only explain this to the TSA......
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[...] apparently not all hot attendants and free crackers and peanuts - it’s also service. The company’s turnaround time on flights is 23 minutes, half the [...]