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Really? You want more jokes?!!!

jhallen
Adventurer C
Owl What do you call a baby owl in a leaky barn? A 'moist owlette'! Newt A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The barman looks at the creature and asks the man what he calls it. "Tiny" replies the man. "Why's that?" asks the bartender. "Because he's my newt!" Wave Two fisherman are out sailing when suddenly a hand appears in the sea. "What's this?" asked the first fisherman, "It looks as if someone is drowning!" "No," explained the second fisherman, "It's just a little wave."
14 Comments
FriendofBlogBoy
Frequent Flyer B
Jill, Thanks for sharing those with me. As a result of your contribution, I feel much taller now. That's because they made me GROWN three times... Ouch, that was as lame as yours! Kim 🙂
kfrancis1
Adventurer C
Jillska Jillska Jillska is back,........ and so is her bad humor. The best part about reading these is I can see your face and hear you laugh at yourself as you type these jokes. Even though the jokes are bad, I love that you crack yourself up. Keep it coming, post some more.
Adam_Stanger1
Explorer C
Southwest's corny jokes, salty snacks, and all the soda pop I could guzzle got me hooked on flying as a kid. Nothing else compares to a SWA flight - I love it!
blusk
Aviator C
Hey Jill, Do you lie awake at nights thinking of those? Well here's a couple back at you: How did the thief evade the bloodhounds? He threw a penny into the woods, and the dogs followed the wrong cent. Two hillbillies were coming down from the mountain, when they saw a motorcycle go buy. The husband, being a skilled hunter, fired at the motorcycle with his squirrel gun. His wife asked, "Kill it Pa?" "Nope," he replied, "it's still growling, but I made sure it let go of the man it had." What did George Washington's father say when George brought home his report card? "Why did you go down in history?"
FriendofBlogBoy
Frequent Flyer B
Brian, If you post any more that are that bad, we're going to take away your candy corn! Kim 🙂
Bob_Cherny
Explorer C
I have heard that Southwest has jokes in its telephone on-hold messages. I thought I would check this out when I was researching some flights, but every time I called, an operator picked up on as soon as the intro about buying tickets on Southwest.com was over. Every time I called a very helpful operator picked right up and I did not get to listen to the jokes. That's wonderful from a client service point of view, and I apreciate the speed of service, but I was wondering if recordings of the jokes were available since I appear to be missing something! Thanks! Bob
Leah3
Adventurer B
I made this up in my hotel room Thursday night in CMH: Why do Southwest employees not like to stay at Hampton Inn? Because they offer Continental breakfast, not Southwest! Oh, that is so dorky it's funny! By the way, I just picked that hotel name out of the air. Get it? I picked it out of the air. Ha, ha.
blusk
Aviator C
Leah, that was awful, but I LUVed it and am sorry I didn't think of it. Kim, never get in the way of a man and his candy corn! Bob, when I worked in Reservations, folks would sometimes call in and ask to be put on hold just to hear the jokes. Brian
Leah4
Frequent Flyer B
I know, that was an awful joke; I feel like it's so awful it's funny! I won't be telling that joke when I'm a CSA & an FA! By the way, I remember on one of the posts, people mentioned they had FAs named Shari; well, on my flight from MDW to CMH, we had one named Shari, but I don't know how she spelled it! I just thought of that again.
doncie
Explorer A
What is a metaphor? So livestock can graze....... Did you hear about the two silkworms in a race? They ended up in a tie.
joe-mdw-plane-d
Frequent Flyer C
Good thing Jill doesn't write your ads! I like the radio spot in DTW for the Chicago meeting that is about Chicago, with the chicago office but it is not held in chicago. Is the whole ad available online somewhere?
Vicki1
Explorer C
I luv it! If laughter is good for your heart, mind, and attitude, then flying Southwest (and working for them) must be just what the doctor prescribed. Thanks for contributing to our well-being! Vicki
Alan_Girvan
Explorer C
if a seal climbs up onto a beach, and someone wraps some tape around its nose and mouth does that make it an air tight seal?
FriendofBlogBoy
Frequent Flyer B
mmmmppppphhhhhhhhhh