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Kids say the darndest things!

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 Art Linkletter made this title well known a long time ago.  Kids continue to delight us with their innocence and candor.  You are familiar with a tug pushing the aircraft away from the jetbridge before the airplane begins taxiing under it's own power to the active runway.   I was prepared to begin the Emergency PA when a child exclaimed, "Are we going to fly BACKWARD!" While descending a small voice could be heard, "My ears are burping!" A child can fly unaccompanied on Southwest Airline's nonstop and direct flights from age five until their 12th birthday.  Thinking a little boy seemed younger than five years my friend asked, "Now HOW old are you?"  His reply, "I'm four when I'm on the ground but I'm five when I'm in the air."  Need I explain? I can still see the earnest face of a five year old who said, "My mother's at Williams Air Force Base.  My dad's at Luke Air Force Base.  I'm a civilian!"  In Orlando, a family boarded with three-year-old twin girls and a five-year-old boy.  It was obvious they had been to Disney World.   The boy was seated at the window and then ignored while the parents got the little girls situated.  The girls were the center of attention from boarding passengers.  Feeling a little sorry for the young boy, my Flight Attendant friend asked him if he had fun at Disney World.  He said he had.  Then she said, "Did you see Mickey Mouse?"  This brought on a torrent of tears.  Trying to comfort him she asked him what was wrong.  "My dad told me if I said one more 'bleeping word' about Mickey Mouse he was going to jerk these ears off my head!"  Another family came on with two young children dressed in Disney World shirts, character hats, clutching Disney stuffed characters.  "Did you have a good time at Disney World?" I asked.  With big eyes the "Pluto" boy replied, "How did YOU know we went there?"  (If you would like the opportunity to take your own children to Disney World, check out the Disney Game at southwest.com until February 24, 2008.) One of our Pilots asked his young son where he wanted to go to college.  "I want to go where you did, dad."  Dad went to Ohio State so he advised his son to look for some place he enjoyed living, maybe near water or mountains-- somewhere fun.  The boy thought for a moment and asked, "Do they have a college at Disney World?" My favorite "Pilot's child" story is this.  When dad came home from flying his ten-year-old son was always waiting near the front door ready to talk and play catch.  This day there was no Douglas.  Dad found his wife who told him Douglas had been mouthy so she had swatted him and he was in his room.  As my friend opened the door to his son's room he heard an immediate, "Mom hit me!"  "Well, mom told me what happened.  Were you smart-mouthing her?"  Hearing an affirmative answer, Dad told Douglas how lucky they were to have mom cook for them, make a beautiful home for them, love them.  "Douglas, what would we do without women?"  To which the child replied, "Anything we WANT?"  Smart kid! Since we transport many children going to visit the non-custodial parent it is not unusual seeing a sad face.   Sitting down next to a little girl who was obviously distressed, the Flight Attendant found out the child's cat had died.   To comfort the child, the Flight Attendant said, "Well  your cat is now in Heaven with God!"  With a confused frown the little girl said, "What would God want with a dead cat?"  See if you can come up with a good answer to that!  Picture this:  A nine-year-old child is traveling alone.  During the opening PA the Flight Attendant mentions that we have complimentary juice, soft drinks, and coffee.  Beer, wine, and cocktails are $4.00.  When it's time to take the young man's order, he is carefully counting out money.  "Can I get you something?"  His reply, "Well, I want one of those cocktails.  I don't know if I want shrimp or fruit?" Being a Southwest Airlines Flight Attendant is not always a laugh a minute, but there is a lot of comic relief!
14 Comments
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Great post! I especially enjoyed "I'm four when I'm on the ground..." Sounds like something my four-year-old would come up with if we let him travel alone or with his older brother - and trust me, Southwest isn't ready for those two... And Douglas the pilot's son seems to have things pretty well figured out already. 🙂
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I really dislike looking at that weird looking guy's face on your Southwest homepage. Put a picture of an airplane there or something please.
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I remember when my now oldest niece flew with my parents & me back in 1994. Once, she said "Are we in the air yet?" She was four years old then. Fact for the day: If you take the word dairy & switch the "I" & the "A" around, you get the word diary! SWA LUV! 🙂
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Very entertaining Carole. Thanks for the giggles!
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Kids say alot of funny things... But then there are alot of Tear Jerkers. Once a year working with my church, I do Santa Pictures with little kids. I remember one kid in particular... Really rips my guts to think about it. On Santas Lap the conversation goes: Santa: What do you want for Christmas? Boy: I want my mommy back? Santa: Where is your mommy at? Boy: She died a couple weeks ago and I miss her! I forget exactly what Santa said, but he was very well trained in such situations... All, I can remember, after that child. I had to take a break. Most of the time you hear of Cars, bikes, roller skates, this year was Ntendo DS's... Sometimes you hear for a kid asking for clothes, but not too often. One that hurts is one actually asked for food. We got his information, and that was one wish that did come true. Kids need alot of love and there are alot of people out there willing go give it. I remember a video shoot that I went to. This little girl (precious young girl) was forced to grow up way too soon. I pray for this girl quite frequently. I did a video segment for a program and interviewing her. The topic was and I hope you are setting down for this "My Boyfriend Is: Sleeping With My Daughter". This one really hurt me. This little girl saw that her mom was happy with her new boy friend, and the boy friend made sure that the little girl knew it. When mom was not home, he would take sexaual advantages of her, and she was willing to take it to make sure her mom was happy. The mom found out one day when a girl came to the door and said "I know that you are not having S?X with your boy friend. He is having it with me and your daugher. I just thought that you should know." From there, things went crazy, and I am glad to say that the now X-Boy Friend is serving time in Prison, which in my opinion is much better than he deserves. I by definition have problems getting along with children. Many times I have a short period of understanding... But it is cute watching them. As a mechanic on another airline (hopefully soon to be with SWA), A young girl was watching me as I was applying ground power (APU QUIT, for those not nowing the terms, Auxilary Power Unit)... He's charging the airplane!, and I guess she was pretty close to being right. I have learned not to under estimate kids... Because as soon as you do... One of them will get you good. I apologize if I pulled some tears... How about someone else with a HAPPY one.
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Kids are a great comic relief, My mom was going to take my nephew shopping with her ,when he was 2 yrs old, to look for a new light for the living room. She asked him, What kind of light should we get? He replied " A bright one! "
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Speaking of children... Only on Southwest Airlines will you here the Flight Attendant say, "In the case of an emergency, margarine cups will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you're traveling with a small child, secure yours before helping with theirs. If you have more than one child, well...pick your favorite!"
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I would agree there are many great things to see and here on a Southwest flight. If anyone knows a flight attendent that lives in Oklahoma and used to be a third grade teacher please encourage her to contact the monkey from the KCI airport. Thanks Will
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As a former FA for WN, I remember one of my favorite kid stories. The little girl boarded a BRAND-NEW 737-700 in her yellow "Belle" from Beauty and the Beast gown. We were travelling PVD-MCO, of course. She was awe struck as she looked around the plane after boarding. The first words out of her mouth were "mommy, this is a LUXURY jet!"
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My Mom was changing my son's diaper one day. He was not being very cooperative. He was wiggling and squirming around. My Mom then asked my daughter who was 4 years old to talk to him-to keep him busy and settle him down so she could change him. She looked at my Mom and said "What do you want me to do? Dress in drag and do the hula?" I about fell over! "Where in the world did you hear that?" I asked. It's a line from the movie The Lion King. This is the same child, at about 3 pointed to an old man in Wal Mart with a pipe in his mouth (not lit) and said "look Mom, a Snarfblott"! Again, a line from a disney movie. Kids can say the darndest things! I have 3 kids and i could go on and on...
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My daughter has always been very observant. I guess this is why she's an accountant and auditor for SWA. When she was 2 1/2, I was very much "with child". She asked why, and I explained that there was a baby in my tummy. Very thoughtfully she observed my body and very seriously asked, Is there a baby in your back, too?
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I HAVE H AVING A BAD HAIR DAY, MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER ASKED ME, MOM WHEN YOU DIE CAN I COMB YOUR HAIR?
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Diana, I guess that could be considered a bad hair day huh. How sad!...as i sit here laughing as i type this lol!!!!! That's funny!
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Anybody who flies with me knows I like to kid and say funny stuff on the PA but I had the tables turned on me the other day by a young boy who was flying unaccompanied. After making my service PA and saying that today we'd be serving complimentary soft drinks, juice and coffee and that cocktails, beer, and wine can be purchased for 4.00, I went out in the cabin to take my drink orders. When I got to this young man, he reached over toward me to hand me a twenty dollar bill and told me he wanted to order a "shrimp cocktail !" Only he wasn't joking, he was totally serious. You should have heard all the adults who were sitting around him that started to laugh. I had a good laugh myself !