Did you have a 12 year old come up with this ad? What type of buyer clients are you trying to attract? Longstanding clients who keep you in business and food on your dinner table for your families or some kid that scraped up enough money with his buddies to party out of town one weekend.
I would have scrapped this and said back to the table and bring me something we can still be proud of in 10 years when we look back at it.
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