I am not afraid of flying and never have been really. I used to be nervous, but not really anymore. However, I do have General Anxiety Disorder, autism, and several phobias. My therapist always talks about desensitizing, so I'm glad you mentioned that. From what my therapist has taught me, watching videos is one of the first steps to desensitizing. He tells me: 1) talk to people who have done it, 2) read about it, 3) look at pictures of it, 4) watch videos of it, 5) look at it in person, etc. You do each step until you're comfortable doing that step, then move on to the next step. He actually used the fear of flying from another one of his patients as an example when talking to me. He said, that for this patient's fear of flying, they talked about it, read about flying and people's experiences, then looked at pictures of airplanes inside and out, watched videos of airplanes inside and out, then they drove by the airport. Then another time, they actually went inside the airport. A subsequent time, they actually bought a ticket and checked in. Another time, they went through security, then they made it to the gate, then they actually got on the plane, then they actually flew. Now, this was a very severe case and took several months (and a lot of money in buying tickets it sounds like). But, that is the basic process he has taught me and it really works for me. Although I don't have anxiety about flying itself, I do have anxiety being around strangers and being outside of my house (I'm agoraphobic). I preboard and I have found the seat that works best for me. I sit right in front of the wing and the hum of the engine calms my anxiety. It's that white noise sound that helps me. I carry keep my head down and play games on my phone usually. Everyone is different though. The previous posts sound like good advice too. Just talk to the workers at the gate and on the plane and find what works best for you.
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